These are the limits of a woman's interaction and communication with her future husband

Assalamualaikum.
Ustadz, what are the boundaries of interaction and communication with your future husband?

ANSWER

Peace be upon you and God's mercy and blessings be upon you

WL…

One of human nature is the tendency of men towards women and vice versa. In fact, the purpose of marriage is to fulfill biological needs in a halal way, so that they can give birth to offspring who are expected to be the successors of life, of course also to fight for the Islamic religion.

Among the steps and stages before the consent or marriage contract takes place is the sermon or proposal. That is, the man comes to visit the woman and tells her parents about the aims and objectives of tying the relationship until the marriage contract is held.

The purpose of proposing is to let other people know that the woman has been proposed to and tied up by a man, which means eliminating the possibility of another man wanting to come forward to get the woman.

Even though the sermon or proposal may be canceled midway for certain reasons, such as it turns out that one of the parties has bad morals or has defects or abnormalities, it is very important to maintain the relationship between the two. Of course, the hope is that the marriage can take place without canceling the sermon because it is in accordance with Islamic rules. So what is the communication or interaction between the man-to-be husband and the woman-to-be wife?

First, the prospective husband and future wife must maintain a good relationship, meaning maintaining mutual trust without having to be in seclusion (alone together without the other party). This is because it will give rise to slander and can arouse lust, and can lead to adultery, whether small or large.
Allah Subhanãhu wa Ta'ala says:

وَلَا تَقۡرَبُوا۟ ٱلزِّنَىٰۤۖ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ فَـٰحِشَةࣰ وَسَاۤءَ سَبِیلࣰا {سُورَةُ الإِسۡرَاءِ: ٣٢}

"And do not approach adultery, it is indeed a vile act and the worst way." {QS Al-Isra': 32}

Rasulullah shallallãhu 'alaihi wasallam said:

لا يخلون رجل بامرأة فإن ثالثهما الشيطان (رواه الترمذي وأحمد)

"Let not a man be alone with a woman (alone together), because the third is Satan." (HR Tirmidhi & Ahmad)

Second, you are not allowed to make physical contact because it is not halal. There are some people or customs in certain areas, that proposing is half married, meaning it is half halal. This is clearly a wrong assumption.

Rasulullah shallallãhu 'alaihi wasallam said:

لأن يطعن في رأس أحدكم بمخيط من حديد خير له من أن يمس امرأة لا تحل له (ر واه الطبران)

"Indeed, if an iron needle were stuck in the head of one of you, it would be better for him than for him to touch a woman who is not lawful for him." (HR Thabrani)

Third, maintain mutual trust and commitment. This means that the man cannot cancel unilaterally and vice versa unless it is for a justified reason.

Fourth, if there is a necessary need, then the two candidates may communicate, either directly or via communication media such as cellphones or others. As long as you are awake and protected from slander.

Hope it works!

Peace, mercy and blessings of God

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(Answered by Ustadz Very Setiyawan, Lc., S.Pd.I., MH)

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