By: chaplain Talqis Nurdianto (So Cordofa DDHK)
When reading the title above, some will ask why are you mentioned only? Where is the role of a father who is also a parent? In terms of educating children, mothers have more roles than fathers in general, as in the QS. Al-Ahqaf, verse 15, which is the study of this paper.
ووصينا الإنسان بوالديه إحسانا حملته أمه كرها ووضعته كرها وحمله وفصاله ثلاثون شهرا حتى إذا بلغ أشده وبلغ أربعين سنة قال رب أوزعني أن أشكر نعمتك التي أنعمت علي وعلى والدي وأن أعمل صالحا ترضاه وأصلح لي في ذريتي إني تبت إليك وإني من المسلمين
"We command humans to be kind to ketwo mothers and fathers. Ihis mother bore him with difficulty and gave birth to him with difficulty (anyway). To contain her until weaning her is thirty months, so that when she is an adult and is up to forty years old she prays: "O my Lord, show me to be grateful for Your blessings which You have given me and to my mother and father and so I can do righteous deeds that You are happy; give kindness to me by (giving kindness) to my children and grandchildren. Verily, I repent to You and indeed I am one of those who surrendered. (Surah Al Ahqaf: 15)
The above verse begins with an order, before stating the reasons why the child is obliged to do good to both parents (birrul walidain). The mention of parents is the biological parent from whom both children were born, not ideological parents. That is, do not let children obey and obey their ideological parents but not sympathy with their biological parents who have clearly been ordered to do good to them.
There is no reason for the child to refuse to do good to both of them as long as they do not obey Allah. Good parents will always ask their children to do good, just as a good child is as high as any job position, education level, and character in society, as long as in front of his parents he is still a child who must obey and obey him.
4 Parents' Responsibilities to Children
From the above verse we also know that responsibility is gradually carried out, namely; (1) A mother must take care of the womb (baby) until birth, (2) Take care of the baby from birth to the age of two for weaning, (3) from two years to adulthood for marriage, (4) from marriage to age four twenty years.
How kind the parents are to take care of us as children from birth in the world to adulthood in his forty years. If the child calculates with the parents for what the child gives to the parent, it is not comparable to the gift the parent gives to the child. This is one of the reasons for children and the obligation to serve their parents, as in the above verse.
In Jalalain's Tafsir it is stated that (We command humans to do good to both their mother and father) according to a qiraat recitation of Ihsaan read by Husnan; He means: We command people to do good to their parents. Ihsaanan pronunciation is Mashdar which his Fi'il proclaimed his existence; Likewise the translation when read Husnan (his mother conceived him with difficulty and gave birth to him with difficulty) means full with difficulty.
The condition of the mother (containing her until weaning her) from her breastfeeding (is thirty months), namely in the six months as the minimum limit for pregnancy, while the remaining twenty-four months, which is the maximum length of breastfeeding.
According to one opinion it is stated that if the mother is pregnant for six months or nine months, then the rest is the breastfeeding period (so that) shows the meaning Ghayah for the number whose existence is estimated, namely that he is alive so that (if he is an adult) what is meant by the definition of adult is that his physical strength and intellect and intelligence are perfect, namely around the age of thirty-three years or thirty years (and his age up to forty years) that is even reach forty years. In this age a person has reached the maximum limit of maturity (he prays, "O my Lord!) And so on.
This verse was revealed with regard to Abu Bakr al-Siddiq, namely when he was forty years after the two years of the Prophet. was appointed an apostle. Then he believed in the Prophet. Then both parents believed, followed by his son, Abdurrahman, and then his grandson, Atiq.
(Show me) means to give inspiration (to be grateful for Your blessings that You have given) these blessings (to me and to my father's mother), namely the favors of tawhid (and so that I can do pious deeds that You are pleased with) then Abu Bakr immediately freed nine servants of mine. who believe; they are tortured for embracing the religion of Allah (give kindness to me by giving kindness to my children and grandchildren) so all of their children and grandchildren are people who believe. (Verily I repent to You and verily I am one of those who surrendered. ").
3 Parents' Duties to Children
There are important lessons that are the duty of parents to their children, namely; (1) teach monotheism, believe in Allah by not condemning creatures, (2) teach akhlakul karimah, (3) educate children to be devoted to their parents.
Of course the child cannot repay the kindness of his parents, if this is so and so then do not argue with it in terms of kindness,
والذي قال لوالديه أف لكما أتعدانني أن أخرج وقد خلت القرون من قبلي وهما يستغيثان الله ويلك آمن إن وعد الله حق فيقول ما هذا إلا أساطير الأولين
"And the man who said to his two mothers and fathers: 'Ah', did you both warn me that I would be resurrected, even though some people had passed before me? Then the two mothers and fathers asked Allah for help, saying: "Woe to you, have faith! Verily, Allah's promise is true ”. Then he said: "This is nothing but the fairy tales of the ancients". (Surah Al Ahqaf: 17)
Abak Salih and Salihah World Investment
A tough but unavoidable task is to educate children to have faith in Allah and instill good morals in them. From here, a mother as a madrasa for her children must be an example, lest the children look for and make the wrong person as an example in speaking, behaving and behaving. What if he chose the wrong example? Then the parents are responsible for the first time in the afterlife.
It is permissible for a mother to work, both at home and outside the home, inside or outside the country. However, it is clear that having a righteous child with good character is an investment in the afterlife that is not proportional to what he gets from his work.
O mother, not all women are gifted with children as you are. Not all mothers have the opportunity to educate their children directly with the love of their parents. Then use this opportunity properly, until your child reaches adulthood, which is forty years. This favor he gathered with his family in obedience to God, in this world and the hereafter.
Allahu A'lam bish-shawab.
