DDHK. ORG – Does the marriage guardian have to be a member family close?
Peace be upon you, and Allah's mercy and blessings.
chaplain, I'd like to ask. Ustadz I want marry, does the marriage guardian have to be a close family member?
Thanks.
Greetings, Fulanah
ANSWER:
May the peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be with you too.
Bismillah was salatu was salamu 'ala Rasulullah, wa ba'du,
First, there are many people who can become guardians for a woman when she marries. It's just that the trustees have a hierarchical order. Who is higher level, he is more entitled to be a guardian.
Al-Buhuty – a scholar of the Hambali school of thought – in ar-Raudhul Murbi' mentions the order of marriage guardians as follows:
You or your representative
Grandpa, or representing Grandpa
Child, or representing the child
Siblings, or those representing them
A half-brother, or a representative for it
Children of siblings or fathers (nephews), or those who represent them
The paternal uncle, or his representative
Father's paternal uncle, or his representative.
Cousin (uncle's child), or the representative
Wala' (the one who set him free).
If all the guardians are not there, then move to the Judge's guardian (KUA)
(Ar-Raudhul Murbi', pp. 335 – 336)
Second, there are 2 reasons why relatives who are included in the list of guardians do not become guardians.
[1] Because it is not possible to become a guardian, for example: lost his mind or has died.
In this condition, the position of the first guardian is replaced by the subordinate guardian. For example, the father has died, then the right of guardianship goes to the grandfather. If the grandfather has died then the right of guardian to the child. If there are no children (still a girl), then the guardian's right moves to a sibling, etc...
[2] Because he was not willing to become a guardian, for whatever reason. Both for reasons syar'i and reasons not syar'i.If for syar'i reasons, the guardian's decision is justified. For example, because her future husband is not as well-rounded in world affairs as in religion. Or because of her future husband, her religion is corrupted, followers of heretical sects, etc.
If for reasons that are not shar'i, then the guardian's decision can be rejected, and may be submitted to the KUA.
For example, the wali doesn't approve because it doesn't fit the weton calculation, because he has a beard, or because the wali hates the woman he wants to marry, or hates her future husband without a good reason. This kind of guardian is called a'dal guardian.
Ibn Qudamah explained,
ومعنى العضل : منع المرأة من التزويج بكفئها إذا طلبت ذلك ، ورغب كل و احد منهما في صاحبه
The meaning of adhal is to prevent a woman from marrying a man who is in the same league as her, while the woman wants it. And each partner loves each other. (al-Mughi, 7/368)
Third, Wali a'dhal is one of the perpetrators of tyranny. Therefore this kind of action is prohibited in al-Quran.
Allah said,
وَإِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاءَ فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ أَنْ يَنْكِحْنَ
"If you reject your wives, then their iddah period expires, then do not prevent them from remarrying their future husbands, if there is consent between them in a way that is ma'ruf." (QS. al-Baqarah: 232)
There are several narrations that this verse was revealed in connection with the case of Ma'qil bin Yasar and his sister. That Ma'qil married his sister to a Muslim during the time of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam. Until there was a problem, her husband divorced her.
Until the end of the iddah period, the husband did not refer to her. But love blossomed again. This ex-husband man came to propose, to marry his sister Ma'qil.
Ma'qil felt that his pride had been insulted, he was angry, so he said,
يا لكع أكرمتك بها وزوجتكها، فطلقتها! God bless you
Hey stupid, I glorify you by marrying you to my sister, then you divorce her. By Allah, I will not return it to you forever. Get away from me.
Ma'qil prevented the marriage between his sister and the man. Then Allah sent down His word above.
Then Rasulullah shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam called Ma'qil and recited this verse to him. Ma'qil left his ego behind and was willing to submit to God's rules. (Narrated by Bukhari 5331)
If there is an A'dhal guardian, the guardianship rights do not transfer to the next guardian. Because Al-Adhl's actions are tyranny. While the power to eliminate tyranny returns to the judge.
For this reason, when the guardian performs 'adhal, does not want to marry off for reasons that are not clear, the bride and groom can come to the KUA, and then the KUA will take several actions:
[1] Mediation between the prospective bride and the guardian a'dhal, so that he is willing to marry her off[2] If the guardian's reasons cannot be accepted by the KUA, the KUA will force the guardian a'dhal to marry her off.
[3] If the guardian is still not willing to marry her off, the KUA will hold the authority to marry her off.
Allahu a'lam.
Peace, mercy and blessings of God
Answered by Ustadz Very Setiawan.
#Friends of Migrants want to consult about Islamic religious issues and life issues? Come on, submit the question via WhatsApp message to number +852 52982419. [DDHK News]
