ASKING:
Assalamu'alaikum, Ustadz / Ustadzah.
I want to ask, more precisely ask for advice. How to reduce the ego when we feel wronged by the qualities we don't like from our partner?
For example, couples cannot be invited to understand each other, they cannot be invited to find a middle way to a problem. The more so, in the position of the LDR (long distance relationship).
Is giving in and apologizing, even though (feeling) in the right position, always the solution? Could it be that it could present misunderstanding on the part of the partner and turn him into a weapon to oppress him?
I say jazakillahu / jazakallahu khoiron for the answer. Hopefully the Ustadz / Ustadzah have a long life, be given health, and always be happy. Aamiin.
Salam,
Fulanah
ANSWER:
Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Thank you for the kind prayers. Hopefully, Allah also bestows happiness, tranquility, prosperity, and blessings of life for Mrs. Fulanah.
The picture above is a choice that we can make in everyday life. Like a bank account, positive energy is savings and negative energy is withdrawal.
When we save more, our emotional condition will be stable, even happiness will be abundant, God willing. But on the contrary, if we make more withdrawals, the psychological condition will also sway. This means that if you do a lot of negative energy, it will certainly make the situation unhealthy.
Regarding Sister Fulanah's question, we can control the ego by doing more positive things, not being prejudiced, patient, and others.
If the position is right, do we have to give in forever? Of course not. This is where it is necessary to be assertive, namely to tell the truth in the best possible way and to continue to ask for help from Allah who turns people's hearts upside down.
Continue to be enthusiastic to spread benefits and develop your potential, God willing, you will feel more meaningful.
God knows best, bish-shawab.
Regards!
Answered by: Bunda Sholikunihayah, M.Psi., Psychologist.
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