My husband is too stingy, what should I do?
Assalamualaikum. Ustadz, I want to ask a question.
My husband is getting more and more stingy by the day. Then, what according to Islamic law?
The story is, in early August I worked as a vaccine volunteer with a salary above the UMR (regional minimum wage). But because my husband is trying to open his shop at my father-in-law's house, he is worried that I will bring the Covid virus when I come home from work, with the reason that I work with crowds of people who want to be injected with vaccines every day.
I was forced by my husband to resign from work. I agreed to resign, Ustadz. In fact, I don't have any money.
Actually, I work, besides wanting to have an income, I also want to help the economy of my parents, who happen to be taking care of my first child. All my children's expenses are borne by my parents, because my children are from my first husband. My husband, who is now Blass, has never helped pay for it.
Once again, I gave in and resigned from the job I got, in order to maintain domestic relations. I think, my husband wants to change, a bit loose in providing for me. But it turned out that I was still given daily money, Rp. 25 thousand a day.
It's very narrow, because vegetables are all expensive. In addition, vehicles such as cars and motorbikes are also stored at his parents' house. Sometimes, my husband comes home and even rides a motorcycle taxi. In fact, there are decent vehicles. Motor 4, car 2, but rarely brought home.
I've been lazy to discuss it with my husband about this problem, I can only think and feel pain in my heart. What am I lacking as a wife? There is no change at all from my husband. In fact, he's getting stingy. So I'm not excited to pray for his efforts and fortune.
I also no longer enthusiastic in my daily life. I'm tired of praying for my husband not to be so stingy like this. My heart is getting worse.
Then, what should I do, Ustadz?
Thank you, Ustadz.
Greetings, Fulanah
ANSWER:
Wassalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarokaatuh.
Bismillah... My sister who is blessed by Allah SWT. Running a household ark is not easy. We will be faced with great responsibility in it. Each member of the family certainly has the rights and obligations of each. Among them is the physical and spiritual maintenance of a husband towards his wife. But sometimes, a wife is faced with a stingy and stingy husband. Islam strongly denounces stinginess and miserliness, even that includes practices that have destroyed previous peoples.
Giving wealth to the wife is the main practice for the husband. Rasulullah said:
لن نفقة ا الله لا بها، ا ل امرأتك. (متفق ليه)
"And verily you will not spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, until you put it in your wife's mouth." (Hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)
The meaning of the above hadith is that the infaq of a married man will not be accepted by Allah so that he provides for his wife first.
However, if a husband has a stingy and stingy nature, and does not provide enough support for his wife or less, then the wife has the right to take her husband's property with makruf or according to her needs. This is in accordance with the history of Umm the believer Aisyah, that Hindun bint Utbah faced the Messenger of Allah and said:
ا ل الله أبا ان ل ليس ا لدي لا ا لا لم ال ا لدك المعروف. (متفق ليه)
"O Messenger of Allah, indeed Abu Sufyan was a stingy man, he did not give enough wealth for myself and my son unless I took from his wealth without his knowledge. The Messenger of Allah said: Take what is sufficient for yourself and your child with wisdom. (Hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)
As for the maintenance of the stepson, it is not obligatory for a man to give it. But Islam strongly recommends doing good to anyone.
If a husband and wife are divorced, and have children as a result of their marriage, then the father is still obliged to provide for his biological child even though he is no longer the husband of his child's mother. However, if the husband dies, it is the father's brothers or uncles who are obliged to provide for the child.
I hope my sister can be patient in dealing with situations like this, remain a good wife, advise her husband gently and well, and always ask Allah SWT to give a way out.
Wallâhu a'lam bish-showâb.
Regards!
(Answered by: Ustadz Very Setiyawan, Lc., S.Pd.I., MH)
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